Kiss Kill is published! A foray into narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Kiss Kill is a story about 16 year old Mat, and his relationship with Elle, his narcissistic girlfriend. Read the book by Les Carter (2005) ‘Enough About You, Let’s Talk About me: How to Recognise and Manage the Narcissists in Your Life’

The first step when dealing with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is to recognise it, which is a lot easier said than done. It’s not one incidence that signals NPD, there are ‘recurrent patterns’ to narcissistic behaviour that get repeated over time. Patterns involve hidden anger or rage, secret fears, and a lack of responsibility for their own behaviour.

NPD Patterns include:

1) There is no agenda but theirs
2) They will win by sheer force of will
3) They like to produce a Guilt/Duty trump card
4) They know everything
5) They use the wear-you-down method.

Carter lists other responses to manage the person with NPD

– Try to achieve a delicate detachment from an intolerable situation
– Respond with your mind and not with emotions
– Reflect on the fact that you also have imperfections
– Choose to make free choices
– Don’t cater to the NPD behaviour
– Don’t try and evade the NPD in your life
– Stop trying to force the NPD to stop their manipulative behaviour because they can’t
– Choose your own path to walk
– Maintain your self-respect
– Establish boundaries and consequences
– Stand firm
– Keep your expectations low
– Guard against your own angry reactions
– Stop yearning for acceptance (nothing you do, say, think, believe will ever be right).