1. When you were growing up, did it feel like it was your responsibility to make a parent happy, and if s/he was not happy, it was your fault?
2. Did you grow up with alcoholism or addiction, or did you experience neglect, abandonment, or physical, emotional, or sexual abuse?
3. Do you find it impossible to say no to requests, then feel resentful when you get overwhelmed?
4. Do you get involved in other people’s problems even if they don’t ask for your help?
5. Do you often find yourself in relationships in which you become the caretaker for the other person?
6. Do you have problems identifying feelings or find yourself trying to avoid feelings?
7. Do you tend to take responsibility for other people’s feelings or actions?
8. Are you a “people pleaser?”
9. Do you take criticism (even if it’s constructive criticism) personally and feel like you’re being attacked?
10. Have you gotten into a relationship and then later found out that your partner was an alcoholic, addict, or other compulsive personality?
11. Do you have problems with intimacy (emotional or physical)?
12. Do you feel like you are constantly looking for “the answer” from other people, activities, self-help books, etc.?
13. Are you extremely critical of yourself and/or others?
14. Do you try to anticipate the needs of others and wonder why they don’t do it for you?
15. Do you worry a lot, particularly about other people and their problems?
16. Do you have difficulty trusting yourself or others?
17. Do you find it difficult to accept compliments?
18. Do you feel guilty when you do something for yourself?
19. Do you try to control how other people act?
20. Do you ignore the problems in your life and pretend things are better than they are?
21. Do you take yourself too seriously?
22. Are you afraid of your own or others’ anger?
23. Are you extremely responsible or extremely irresponsible?
24. Do you allow yourself to be hurt in relationships and accept behavior from your partner that you said you would not accept?
25. Do you constantly give to others and feel uncomfortable when others give to you?
26. Do you often feel used?
27. Do you feel like you’re not good enough?
28. Do you have difficulty relaxing and having fun?
29. Do you wait to find out what other people think before you share your own opinion?
30. Are you afraid that others will leave you and tolerate abuse so that they will stay?
If your answer to at least 5 of these questions was “Yes,” you are probably codependent. The good news is that you are not alone; most women have at least some issues with codependency, although some struggle with it more than others. And, having identified the issue, you can now do something about it!