Les Carter’s discussion on how to deal with the narcissist in your life encourages you to focus on your own anger responses. He says anger has many faces and breaks these down into 5 types of anger response:
1) Suppressed Anger (giving up)
2) Openly Aggressive Anger (ranting and raving)
3) Passive-Aggressive Anger (going underground)
4) Assertive Anger (being firm and fair)
5) Release Anger (a state of acceptance, tolerance and forgiveness)
Needless to say, when faced with a narcissist we should be fair but stand firm, with forgiveness the ultimate goal.
In order to do this we need to remove the FEAR factor from this equation. How do we show signs of Fear?
– not standing up for yourself
– second-guessing the narcissist’s preferences
– allowing yourself to be talked out of a decision.
Conclusion: The narcissist will not change, you must take action towards changing your perceptions and reactions.